It can bring out feelings of guilt or betrayal in the widow or widower.It can also bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family, and those who were close to the deceased spouse.He still grieves for her at times when he’s reminded of her, but he is moving on with his life.I’m nervous about getting involved with him too soon.~ Julie Donner Andersen I’m at the very beginning of a potential relationship with a guy who I’ve reconnected with after many years (we knew each other in high school).His spouse of 27 years passed away four months ago, after a very long (21 years) battle with Multiple Sclerosis.You can help by offering a "safe place" for your friend to mourn. Around you, he doesn't have to be strong because you will offer support without judgment.
Communicate openly with him about his emotional state. If he seems not to have grieved much, consider that a red flag.Many grieving men throw themselves into their work in an attempt to distract themselves from their painful feelings. Let him know that you really want to hear how he's doing, how he's feeling.Maybe you can offer your friend both activity and time for reflection. In the context of these activities he just might share some of his innermost thoughts.Widowers are survivors, and as such, most come through the grief process much stronger, more resilient, and embrace life with more gusto.Those are big changes for any person, but it would appear that for the widower, this growth is marked not by the passage of time but by how he handles the cards that are dealt to him.