Dating advice for shy singles

Most of them learned about the workshop through the New York Shyness and Social Anxiety Meetup; with more than 2,500 members, it’s the largest social anxiety meet up in the world, according to the group’s leader, Erik Silverman.

SAD first appeared in the Still, the Food and Drug Administration approved the drug company Glaxo Smith Kline to market Paxil as the antidote (“Imagine being allergic to people,” the ad says), and soon, both Paxil prescriptions and SAD diagnoses were on the rise.

I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.

It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.

It’s important, first and foremost, to set some personal boundaries with yourself. It was a strange, atypical situation where a lot of fellas seemed determined to meet yours truly. Ignore your mother when she hounds you about grandchildren.

Introversion can be misread as a lack of interest to some people, so it's always better to say 'I'm an introvert' than to let them think you aren't enjoying their company." —Emily Weeden, Facebook "Become friends with people.

As an introvert, it's hard to meet new people, so try hanging out with people you already know. Where would you go if you could travel anywhere tomorrow morning?

I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.

I mention that I tend to spend many hours reading and that I like book recommendations.

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